Off Topic > General Furry Talk
Women at Furry Conventions
Sithy:
Oh yes, I want to emphasise I totally understand why women stop going to conventions. I was this close to just giving up and hiding under the duvet at this year's EF x) To later get reactions along the lines of "it wasn't that bad" "women overreact" was basically icing on the cake. This happens a lot, which makes women afraid to speak up about the matter. (Again, I -have- met a lot of super nice guy friends, I -know- this is a minority and EF Security thankfully never plays the "women overreact" game.)
I'd just honestly hate it if all males would stop talking to me and not approach me at all though :( I can see why, I just feel it's a shame.
Dhary Montecore:
I can't agree with this article at all I'm afraid. I had two relationships with females and both started at Eurofurence and both women got interested because I just talked to them as a friend without any hidden intends. So I'd say you SHOULD approach female attendees, but maybe guys should remember to be gentleman about it. Just be respectful, polite and above all don't be creepy. That's all I'd suggest to be honest.
Most attendees aren't creepy or weird at conventions, but some are. And the fandom is quit easy with talk about sexual stuff. That de-sensitizes even those, that are perfectly fine straight or bi males.
So yeah, be yourself, talk to females but excercise manners and you should be fine in my opinion as a male. :3
And I can assure every guest, especially female attendees, that Eurofurence security takes every complaint seriously. Reports can be made in private, in one-on-one talk and of course we have female security officers to take your report, if that's your wish. Harassment will never be tolerated at Eurofurence and we will push for the maximum penality in any case of sexual harassment. That's a promise.
Jallora:
Hi, I dusted this account (I didn't even remembered I had one) to answer the topic.
I am Balinares' wife, and went to EF 11th to 13th if my memory's good. Then I had kids.
Anyway, first thing I should say is that if I didn't already knew a bunch of male furry friends around whom I was comfortable (especially as one of them was my "special someone") I would never have come. Because I was shy (still am, but slightly less, I guess), and there was no way I'd go all alone in a convention filled with guys.
It's true I've had my share of unsollicited attention, though I never feared for myself or felt insecure.
If you want my opinion on the subject, I'd say that the problem at EF isn't the number of males per se, it's the number of socially awkward males. The article quoted above just seems to me as written by someone who has no idea how to basically interact with people (especially female people) and tries to write a guideline.
I can agree with the "don't come expecting to find love" thing, but do speak to females if you want to ! Just keep in mind some basic stuff : not everyone is interested in what you have to say, listen to what is said to you and of course no contact without asking first (as should be the case with males too in my opinion)
Now if the question is "how to convince more girls to come to EF ?" well, I don't really know. I remember going to a "female only" event once (EF 11th maybe ?) and was quite struck because they all seemed to already know each other and I felt really out of place. It's sad, though, because I rather liked the idea.
FreesTyler:
I've been going to EF now since EF17, and I haven't had any bad experiences. Though, I guess I'm not the most feminine out there, and when fursuiting most people think I'm a guy, so I guess that..helps?
But this article, telling you to basically not talk to us is kind of weird. How will you ever get to know anyone if you follow guidelines telling you "not introduce yourself" or to approach someone unless you are friends? I would say the best way would just be to actually introduce yourself with your name (nickname), cause... talking to some person you have no idea what to call is kind of weird, isn't it? Then you would just be "that guy that came over, we had a nice conversation, but I have no idea who he was".
The one this I agree on is that you shouldn't talk to someone with the intention of maybe have any kind of romantic connection, cause that's where it get's awkward. But talking to someone because you want to say hi, is not dangerous at all.
Just don't get clingy, act normal, be happy, a convention is a social place after all!
Jorinda:
--- Quote ---What advice would you give men trying to approach women at furry conventions?
--- End quote ---
Same as everywhere else - try to act normal. Do not start a conversation with the goal of getting a date - that often ends up weird or creepy.
--- Quote ---Before going to your first furry con, where you concerned about unwanted attention?
--- End quote ---
Actually, I went to my first con when I was very new to the fandom and had not heard about such things much. So I was not worried.
--- Quote ---Has this actually held you back? How were your actual experiences at furry conventions?
--- End quote ---
Sometimes I got hit on. But more guys were of the "nerd who doesn't know what to say" type, not creepy. A friendly, harmless kind of weirdo ;). And in case I had to tell someone to leave me alone because i didn't want to talk to them, they always stopped. I never got bothered any further after asking them to stop.
--- Quote ---Did you get a lot of creeps following you - more than your male friends?
--- End quote ---
I guess it is about the same amount as for the guys, but that is a feeling, not a statistic.
--- Quote ---Any stories to tell?
--- End quote ---
Funniest story so far: My boyfriend was jealous of me going to a con with so many guys. Then he saw that noone was flirting with me, but someone slapped his butt while dancing (and I was the only girl around, and it was not me slapping him). That sounds kinda creepy, but it was more hilarious.
--- Quote ---Would you agree with what JM wrote in his blog article? Or do you disagree?
--- End quote ---
I disagree. Before reading this, I had never heard of any girl saying "I don't go to cons because I got hit on". I don't think it is that much of a problem. But I have to admit that I'm rather goood at ignoring people I don't like, others might feel different about that.
Even if a creepy person bothers you, there are always plenty of friends around at the con who will help you get rid of him.