It was indeed not at all clear if I would be able to attend this year, and I suppose there are many more who are in that position.
I know however it is rather a privilege to be able to attend, and I already had that privilege for five times, so there is no real reason to complain.
It is just a natural reaction to feel a bit sad, if you are not among the lucky ones.
Due to some recent lucky strike, there is however still a big chance I will be there, it just depends on a few as of yet unsure factors.
So I am happy.