Okay, after a lot of joking around, here's my "serious" review of the film. Of course, effectively being one of the film's associate producers, I might be a bit biased - I was a believer in Shay's and EZ's work before they even started shooting that movie, otherwise Eurofurence wouldn't have helped with the funding
That being said, I was expecting something good - and I was still totally overwhelmed.
1) Production
This is often overlooked, but I absolutely have to give credit to Shay and EZ because ... THEY DID IT. How many projects have you heard people talk about, work on for years, and then never finish? And then ... THEY DID IT IN RECORD TIME. Under two weeks of principal shooting for a 45 minute movie? That's one hell of a professional schedule. Many people probably will never realize how utterly amazing this is by itself. Even if the film hadn't turned out to be what it is ... the dedication and professionalism alone would have made it worth supporting.
2) The Story (SPOILER WARNING!)
It takes a lot of guts to write a story aimed at a furry audience, and then make it a tragedy rather than a comedy. But it was a wise decision - it made it possible to stay wide away from the usual fandom clichees. Despite its darkness, it makes the story appear fresh, believable, and mature. Some people criticised the story for being too linear and simplistic. But I don't concur. This is a short film, and the format requires the story to be to the point. And it is. I can only guess how many of his favourite ideas Shay had to kill to get it stripped down to what is was. This must have been incredibly hard, and I can only draw my hat to that. But it was necessary. You get a very good feeling for the story universe - you know that what you see is just a little slice of life from that universe, but that there is more behind it. The characters are introduced well with what few lines some of them have before they die
And I like the dark irony of the fact, that literally everyone does.
If I had to mildly criticise anything then it is that the film is a little heavy on dialogue, and a little thin on action. Turn off the sound, and except for the killings, you'll mostly see characters walking through the scenery talking. It is done well, but it leaves a lot of potential of the medium unexplored. If there's ever a sequel or followup project, I would suggest: Less talking, more stuff happening!
3) Acting
I was very worried about this ... a lot of fan films have failed because of lousy acting and/or voiceacting. And with the limited expression that full-body costumes with static faces allow, and having to lipsynch to seperately recorded voices, my expectations were really low. But what shall I say ... in the end, it turned out totally believable. The voice acting was very good by amateur standards, and I've actually heard a lot worse in dubbed TV productions. The mix of accents did not distract in any way ... in fact, you could easily imagine that with all the characters coming from different parts of the land, different accents are to be expected.
The acting in fursuit was pretty good, too. The limitations of missing facial expressions were well compensated by a little exagerated gesturing and body language - it would probably have looked goofy with humans, but the animal characters give you a lot more freedom in that regard as there is nothing "real" to compare them to. The characters never appeared stiff, there was always movement, it looked easy and except for a few rare moments, natural.
The only scene where it showed that the actors were pushed to their limits was during the swordfight. I liked the setup of the scene, and the choreography wasn't bad either. But reactions were just slightly too slow, often slowing down just before the hits. You could clearly see that the actors were holding back, not really putting much force into the stabs and swings - maybe because they were insecure, or because they did not want to damage the weapons. If you want to do a fight scene again, maybe some actual fighting lessons could help make everyone feel a bit more secure, and make the fight look faster, more violent, and more convincing.
4) Costumes / Props
I am so glad you went with Clockwork Creatures. Toony suits would not have worked in a realistic setting. However, I was totally amazed, how well the costumes blended in with the sets - even with the limited jaw movements and facial expressions, they seemed totally real to me. I never felt like I was watching actors in costume. Also, the accessories, the armour, clothing, weapons were all well-chosen and looked just awesome. Colonel Drraer gave me goosebumps everytime I saw him. He's incredibly handsome
And Belora looked appropriately feminine - which is good, because animal costumes often make characters appear rather androgynous. And they all appeared very noble.
I know very well about the limitations of the costumes - including the limited availability. You have to work with what you have. But I want to mention one thing, that Jim Martin also noticed: The stare. I think you can get away without a lot of facial expressions, but if there is any way you can make the eyes move and blink ... that would make for a vast improvement.
5) Set / Locations
Wow. Just wow. Great choice. The only moment you could guess this was shot in a museum-like setting is the complete lack of animals in the household and stables. I loved how you covered up the anachronisms, like painting over the modern window panes
6) Photography / Lighting
Beautiful! I am so glad we invested in proper projection equipment - seeing this in High Definition in roughly 8x4.5 meters was breathtaking. The camerawork was pretty much flawless, the framing was never off, the camera movements followed the action naturally and smoothly. There was never anything even remotely amateurish looking about it. It was absolutely cinematic, the pictures were crips and clean, bringing out all the wonderful details in the set and in the costumes. It felt like being there. I think it would talke a seasoned professional to find anything to improve here. I can't think of anything. The lighting was close to perfect, too. Most of the time, it was impossible to tell which scenes were artificially and which were naturally lit. You made some awesome use of the fog - like, making King Leoric's breath visible in the opening sequence. Maybe slightly clicheed - but it made him look so much more alive!
If there's anything to criticise about the lighting, then it's that I sometimes felt it was a bit inconsistent at times. I'd have to watch the movie again to exactly pinpoint it, and forgive me if I'm remembering this wrong, but I felt that the time of day and the atmospheric conditions seemed to vary a lot in a very short time.
7) Original Soundtrack
The most amazing thing is: IT HAS ONE! And it delivers. You can tell it has been composed to match the action frame-by-frame, and it really helps carrying the film along. I admit, it is a bit heavy on pathos at some times, but then, it is a fantasy film and I'm a sucker for romantic scores ... and this it what it is. A romantic dark fantasy. The score is better than a lot I've seen on television, and the execution is masterful - especially if you keep in mind this was composed, arranged, performed and recorded in a mere two weeks. The themes for the trailer and the end credits are just amazing - and while it's obviously primarily based on orchestra samples, it does not suffer the "crappy synth orchestra" desease, that I dread so much in most low-budget movie and game soundtracks. Absolutely professional, and its good enough to stand on its own, too.
Sound Effects / Design
Keeping in mind, that there was only very little usable on-set sound recordings available, the sound mix was really good. Sound effects were subtle, on time, and well-balanced. All in all, I found the sound mix to be a bit on the dry side. I know what a pain in the ass they are, but a few more foley effects and a little denser ambience (room tones, atmospheric sounds, trees) would have been great to weigh in against the overall very rich visuals. What I found a bit distracting was that, even inside rooms, the voices sounded very "dry" - both voices and FX inside rooms would have benefited from more spatial depth (as in realistic reverb / room simulation). It worked nicely outdoors, when there's very little reflections to be expected, but the scenes inside the house had this "dubbed" feeling to it because of that. It's not a big deal, but I think that would be a great way to get the viewer immersed even more.
9) Special FX / Postproduction / Editing
The rising moon was cheesy
I think you could have done without it ... or just a static moon behind some clouds going by, even if it's a matte paining. I didn't notice any special FX. That means, if there were any, they were obviously very good
The color grading was great! It's what made this production feel like a movie, and it made the images a lot more expressive. It was quite drastic at times, but I guess that is appropriate for a fantasy movie. The only downside is what I already mentioned for the lighting: If the color changes to fast between scenes, it can be quite disorienting - I sometimes had a hard time tracking places and times. I like how you manually fixed things like visible mouths in photoshop. I've watched BBF do this for hours for his con videos, and I know what a painstaking job this is. My respect for paying attention to this level of detail.
The cut was perfect. Nothing seemed too drawn out, nothing seemed rushed, the pacing was very pleasant, cuts were never disorienting. Everything seemed to be there long enough to take in, short enough to be interesting, and shown with a purpose. I did not spot any obvious continuity errors either.
10) Conclusion
It may be a far strech from "Bitter Lake" to "The Lord of the Rings". But it's the closest the fandom ever got! All the talents combined created a wonderful experience, and when I watched Bitter Lake again on DVD, I found it just as entertaining and fascinating like I did when I saw this the first time. You're using the tools of the trade effectively to reach out to your audience on all levels. The visuals and the music are breathtaking. You really managed to take me to the world of my furry dreams. For 45 minutes, I was THERE. And I felt sad when the credits rolled, and I had to leave this world again. The story was interesting and kept up the suspense to the very end. Bitter Lake is a solid achievement by professional standards, and an utterly incredible one by fandom standards. It is something that has never been done before in the fandom, and I concur with Dr. Samual Conway, who said: "Bitter Lake. Hell's Bitches! Furry Fandom has reached the next level."
