Off Topic > General Furry Talk

Women at Furry Conventions

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BlackWolf:
I can't really agree with this article either. There will always be some creeps or weirdos at larger cons so it's not only supposed to happen at the EF or something. You just have to be careful when being out as a woman among a huge massive male dominated crowd. That's all. I certainly know how to protect and take care of myself and I didn't really had any bad experiences with male furs yet. I don't expect it to happen any time soon either. Of course it would be nice to run into some more other females during the convention but I'm also looking forward to celebrate and hang out with my male pals from all over :D

Jorinda:
Sorry for digging up this topic, I was just wondering about that EF Daily article.

It stated that all of the 12 women who were asked had experienced some kind of harrassment. What was counted as harrassment?

I know that some girls, especially the shy ones, are already bothered by lame flirting attempts. It makes them feel uncomfortable, so it could be counted as harrassment - although the same situation would not be a problem for others. And the flirting guy probably didn't mean to make annoy them.

Or, as another example - accidental touching. The lobby was quite crowded, so it might happen that someone walking by may touch you. Especially at night, when parts of the lobby were dimly lit and full of people, sometimes a fursuiter would nudge me. But I wouldn't claim they were actively trying to touch my butt, it's just the height their paws are at when they walk, and they probably didn't see me.
On the other hand, someone who feels insecure and fears to be touched may think they were intentionally touching everyone while walking by.

Ambidexter:

--- Quote from: Jorinda on 28.08.2014, 11:44:30 ---What was counted as harrassment?
--- End quote ---
I was going to ask the same thing, because — pic related — http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/470/064/c12.jpg =)

SiranaJHelena:
Personally I don't have experience with that yet but I heard it from others that some stuff happened to them or friends which is beyond a little bit flirting. (Also from guys, too btw..)
I don't know if my lack of experience might be because of the majority of my con visits I wasn't adult or if I'm just lucky or not "their type" but I wouldn't nullify the problem because it doesn't affect me.

On a con many people feel like in a very safe bubble, far away from everyday problems, everyday concerns, politics and so on and as far as I can tell this isn't completely wrong. I really felt safe at EF, even in this quarter of Berlin, as long as I wasn't alone there. However, sometimes we should remember that all attendees are more or less normal persons with a personality shaped by modern society. And if someone shows bad behaviour in the 361 other days of the year, they probably won't entirely stop because they are on the con. They might calm down, they might behave a little better because of less pressure on them but they won't swap around.
Additionally such an atmosphere can braven some people who are usually pretty shy and don't have much contact to other people in their everyday life. They flirt more, they try to contact someone and sometimes are a little bit inexperienced in that so their manners might result in creepier actions than planned.

For the people who do behave in an - in other people's eyes - impolite or abusing way it's sometimes unapparent. I couldn't even say for myself that I've never harmed anyone or made anyone feel uncomfortable with some of my actions. I'm not a creep but also far away from being a handy empathic everybody's darling, especially in the past at a younger age where this wasn't a topic at all.

Therefore I'm glad about articles like these. Even if you get angry about it, it makes you think about your behaviour and more sensitive to that topic. And the next person you might have abused unintentionally has the chance to become a good friend instead. :)

Sheena-Tiger:

--- Quote from: Jorinda on 09.11.2013, 16:43:26 ---
--- Quote ---Has this actually held you back? How were your actual experiences at furry conventions?
--- End quote ---
Sometimes I got hit on. But more guys were of the "nerd who doesn't know what to say" type, not creepy. A friendly, harmless kind of weirdo ;). And in case I had to tell someone to leave me alone because i didn't want to talk to them, they always stopped. I never got bothered any further after asking them to stop.


--- Quote ---Any stories to tell?
--- End quote ---
Funniest story so far: My boyfriend was jealous of me going to a con with so many guys. Then he saw that noone was flirting with me, but someone slapped his butt while dancing (and I was the only girl around, and it was not me slapping him). That sounds kinda creepy, but it was more hilarious.

--- End quote ---

From those snipped out things... the first sounds quite familiar... I always feel that I have not much to add to any conversation or even start one... so... I stay silent and listen or watch. The watching was quite much what I could do anyway at my first EF (which would be EF20) as I was kinda overwhelmed.

The second thing is... what I would be a bit afraid about as heterosexual on a furry convention with such a high percentage of non-heterosexual males. Guess I am lucky that I am neither a suiter nor that good looking which would cut interest.

I am not even much of a hugging person, especially with strangers, so guess how I felt with only guys hugging me while a friend tried to introduce me to some people, which was kinda creepy. The few females he introduced to me briefly, did not hug... and as I am not the hugging type I not tried myself.


--- Quote from: Zefiro on 28.11.2013, 17:14:41 ---That's very easy to say. I'm not convinced it's that easy to act on, though. I've seen countless times that people speak about non-present other people "They don't get it, do they? They should really learn to XXX", but very rarely that they are contacted directly. I know I'm not - so either I'm a brilliant human being without flaws (yeah, sure :), or it's just part of our social culture to NOT speak to persons and just hope they "would get it" by repeating whatever (subtle) signs are agreed on by the majority, but actually never teached. Everyone expects them to "get it", to "learn it", but for those who genuinely are not aware of this coded language there is little help to learn it. Those who know, of course, will not see the issue, probably also disregard it altogether (I'm used to ad hominem attacks when I bring this topic up). So the actual descriptions of our female furries here what they experienced and considered creepy is quite helpful.

--- End quote ---

Yeah... IF I would have the courage and think I had a topic to talk (no, the weather is not a worthy topic in my opinion... I am bad with smalltalk) with someone (especially a female) I would have no clue about any signs, mostly even the less subtle. At least in my case, it would really help to tell me to stop (if I could muster the courage and topics to approach someone)

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