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EF24 Pawpet show

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ANTIcarrot:
EF 24 Pawpet show - Juno Rising

Well it wouldn’t feel like a proper pawpet show if I didn't spend way too much time writing a review. Hmm. I wonder how far I can get in limerick form?


In the far future of planet Earth
Of resources, there are a dearth
A young racoon reporter
Has people trying to cut her life shorter
After undergoing a metaphoric rebirth

She soon finds a ship full of death
Full of corpses who were cut short of breath
She finds a fox and a chicken
As the plot seems to thicken
And a third character who’s much short of mirth

On the bridge there are survivors to find
They find four, oh but wait, never mind
For the rat is a killer
Well suited to a thriller
But goes down when he’s struck from behind

They arrive at a broken down station
Which has pretentions to being a nation
They lack wall paper paste
Have bureaucratic waste
So the protagonists are stuck for the duration

By luck of a meeting contrived
They get past the guard and inside
They meet an old friend
And their risks seem to end
Then “BOMB!” and of peace they’re deprived

Their ship is carrying a warhead
Sent by someone who wants them all dead
To help the rat wants a deal
But when for asylum he appeals
A idiot shoots him in the head

Hang on a sec, you might muse
You might be a little confused
If their engines use antimatter
Wouldn't it have been better
For the rat to just pull out a fuse

But if the engines use regular fusion
Then this just adds to the confusion
Because antimatter breaking free
Someplace it shouldn't be
Should merit a UN investigation

In fact why use an atomic munition
Given Juno’s broken down situation
Why bother with a mine
Just let them die on the vine
And avoid risk of recrimination

But forget asking how, why, and where
The script thinks that you shouldn’t care
“It’s just a McGuffin
And our knowledge we’re bluffin’
So it’s okay if the corners don’t square”

This play’s true centre and star
Is a snow leopard who has mental scars
With abuse she was trapped
Then her boyfriend kidnapped
But she escaped and now is Juno’s new tsar.

As to the plot’s central theme
Tis telling delusion from dream
For as we slowly learn
As the plot slowly turns
Not all is as real as it seems

And maybe also it’s nasty to trick
For persuasion to the truth you should stick
If you try to manipulate
You might earn some hate
And your arse a snow leopard may kick

So tsar, coon, and fox go to Earth
The planet that gave them all birth
Their computer needs a hack
But at the garage they are attacked
And crew size goes up by one berth

Skipping over some of the filler
The truth can be a mood killer
The trail has gone cold
Opening painful wounds old
And Sina buying from a distiller

The leopard’s parents want her cold dead
Something she has repeatedly said
But while they sound like two heals
Not a bit of it’s real,
And it’s all just bullshit in her head

The forgiveness did feel a bit phony
After decades of harsh acrimony
When they finally meet
All hate just flees fleet
Like an episode of My Little Pony

Oh and here is an amazing surprise
Save your IQ exceeds your shoe size
The nuclear killer
The cat brought it with her
Somehow, she thought this was wise

But no version of this plan would end well
Doom for Juno for sure it would spell
Ground, sky, or orbit,
Or if the UN just finds it
The free territories get thrown into hell

Sina has risked Fox’s child and wife
Does he berate her for rolling such dice?
“It’s just a McGuffin
And our knowledge we’re bluffin’
So it’s okay if the corners don’t square”

What of the millions of lives
That could be snuffed out by gamma ray knives?
“It’s just a McGuffin
And our knowledge we’re bluffin’
So it’s okay if the corners don’t square”

And wouldn’t this just help the mining company
Who wants to crush the territories free?
“It’s just a McGuffin
And our knowledge we’re bluffin’
So it’s okay if the corners don’t square”

A mystery box can add to appeal
Of your story and give the audience feels
It’s an old writer’s trick
But the characters should stick
To reacting like it’s every bit real

Was Sina a rebel or terrorist?
A question we can’t put to rest
You may give her absolution
But my nation’s solution
Would likely not be ‘to arrest’

As someone who is quite British
I feel this year’s play lacked finish
It had technique magnifique
And many an SFX trick
But for me it didn’t quite astonish

The music I guess was okay
But had no moments of emotional sway
It was written and performed
And though I don’t mean to pour scorn
It’s not something for which I would pay

Though I don’t really want to complain
In fact the idea feels very profane
This wasn’t your peak
Though I’d happily seek
More stories in a similar vein

To the creators of DOPE we owe thanks
And now it is time to talk rank!
Not as bad as 11
Not as good as 1-7
And once again I will say ‘Dank’

Eisfuchs:
Thank you for this amusing read :D

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