Off Topic > General Furry Talk
Women at Furry Conventions
Dragony:
I'm generally a little bit disgusted about parts of mankind who treating women as a property...
Okay, I'm a little bit different from other women, I'm a little bit stronger and have my (and sometimes straight) ways, to take my point. And in the past, it was very very rare, that someone harassed me. But it already happened. To me, too. Years ago on an other convention. And I really hated it.
Guys, take a look at us: We are always kind, if you are kind, too. But please: Don't scare us. The world is hard enough for us. If you don't know about, and if you don't believe us, take a look to http://everydaysexism.com/ and recap about your personal behavior.
Stay calm, have a good time, do not get any hopes, make friends with the person you like, but don't tell her about fetishes at the fist time. Do not overstate yourself, be normal, make your business as usual. And don't make any drama if it's not working, how you expected.
And the main thing: A "No!" from a woman means always a "No!". And nothing else. There are no spaces for interpretation and a "No!" is never a signal of shyness. A "No!" is what it is: A cancellation of your request and a straight border, you should never cross.
And Sex is not the answer of everything. Many woman are not amused, when they were treated like an object, that you can use only for sex. And it makes me sick and sad, that I read about someone (a woman) who was looking for a room-mate for EF, and everything she gets was a request for sex...
Think about...
And to all, who had problems about harassments at the con: Talk to me, please, and we find a solution. At the University, I'm working as an Equality Officer in the department of Mechanical Engineering since a couple of years and had some skills.
Jorinda:
--- Quote from: Dragony on 23.01.2014, 13:29:56 ---I'm generally a little bit disgusted about parts of mankind who treating women as a property...
--- End quote ---
True, but I'd like to add: Same applies for women's behavious towards men. Some ladies can be creeps, too.
--- Quote ---And the main thing: A "No!" from a woman means always a "No!".
--- End quote ---
No means no, no matter who says it.
Actually, I'd prefer not to get any "special treatment" as a girl. You do not need to open doors for me, buy me drinks or try to flirt with me. Just try to see me as a person ;). If you want to get to know me, just say Hi and start a conversation. Don't try to do something different just because I'm a woman. Just act... normal.
Dragony:
--- Quote from: Jorinda on 23.01.2014, 15:21:59 ---
--- Quote from: Dragony on 23.01.2014, 13:29:56 ---I'm generally a little bit disgusted about parts of mankind who treating women as a property...
--- End quote ---
True, but I'd like to add: Same applies for women's behavious towards men. Some ladies can be creeps, too.
--- Quote ---And the main thing: A "No!" from a woman means always a "No!".
--- End quote ---
No means no, no matter who says it.
Actually, I'd prefer not to get any "special treatment" as a girl. You do not need to open doors for me, buy me drinks or try to flirt with me. Just try to see me as a person ;). If you want to get to know me, just say Hi and start a conversation. Don't try to do something different just because I'm a woman. Just act... normal.
--- End quote ---
Thanks for editing. You wrote it better than I have!
Ambidexter:
--- Quote from: Dragony on 23.01.2014, 13:29:56 ---And it makes me sick and sad, that I read about someone (a woman) who was looking for a room-mate for EF, and everything she gets was a request for sex...
--- End quote ---
*Sigh* Sad but true. I've been also pondering on how a (single) girl can find a decent roommate. The only idea that comes to my mind is to specify plainly: «Straight girl, looking for a female roommate» — but won't that be sort of… sexist? ^^*
--- Quote from: Jorinda on 23.01.2014, 15:21:59 ---Actually, I'd prefer not to get any "special treatment" as a girl. You do not need to open doors for me, buy me drinks or try to flirt with me. Just try to see me as a person ;)
--- End quote ---
My point exactly ^^
I've stumbled upon a wise discourse at a Russian website similar to notalwaysright.com, it's about gender stereotypes.
Source: http://zadolba.li/story/8448
An attempt of translation…
// Note: «самец» and «самка» in Russian refer primarily to «male animal» and «female animal», respectively. «Личность» can be translated as «person», «personality» or «individual».
--- Quote ---(…)
A male must do military service.
A female must procreate children.
A person must pursue their goals.
A female must expect others to pay.
A male must pay.
A person must comprehend financial capacities and preferences of other people.
A female must obey.
A male must determine.
A person must be able to interact with other persons.
(…)
A female must be dumb and sexy.
A male must be strong and hairy.
A person must be whatever they prefer.
A female must chit-chat.
A male must listen.
A person must be able to socialize.
(…)
Females like flowers.
Males like beer.
Persons like what they like (and speak up about it).
Females pride themselves upon being females.
Males pride themselves upon being males.
Persons remain persons and do not think in stereotypes.
Be a Person.
--- End quote ---
I've picked the most critical parts, but I can translate the rest, if anyone's interested.
Rush_Lion:
It's sad that some women seem to think inappropriate behavior only happens to women and is always done by men. I've been to 8 major furry cons (and many many smaller furry events ) so far and I can not count the number of times i've been groped, squeezed or hugged by people I didn't know, or got sexual remarks or invitations from people I'm not particularly interested in. And YES some of them have been women! And i'm not alone in this. But men tend not to alert security when someone squeezes their butt (or worse).
I've been in the furry fandom since the late 90's, and it's always been a close-knit, touchy-feely community. And that's great! So sometimes someone doesn't know where to draw the line. Big deal. You tell 'em no and move on.
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